heh, i remember the good old days when i first learned to play. Seemed like there were a lot fewer dicks around, i dunno maybe its just me.
Really the easiest way to learn the game is to go over the manual, explore the maps offline, and spectate a lot.
Players without the patience to take these simple steps are going to have a tough time, fortunately there are more average players than great players, and plenty of both are perfectly willing to help somebody who asks. I've seen time and again that the fastest and most effective way to turn a noob into a competent player is some tutoring. I believe Khalsa knows exactly what i'm talking about, always going on about Bloody showing him the ropes

Anyway, i've got a lot of free time on my hands right now, (working part time till i decide what i want do for grad school) and though pretty much everybody who knows me understands my very limited technical knowledge and total lack of anything resembling programming skillz feel free to use me as a resource in any other way you can think of.